Final CHOC Update: Headed Home

I am pretty sure I had my number days mixed up, because it was 19 days and somehow I just miscounted. Oh well. Tomorrow will be day 19 and our last day at CHOC, and I have to say I am a little sad about leaving, but I guess thats what happens when you are there for so long. The team has been pretty fabulous to us and to the mission Caitlin had, which of course was to get her tube out. Technically today we weren't supposed to weigh her but my curiosity got the best of me and she was 18kg which is 39.6lbs, and I have no doubt tomorrow that she will hit 40lbs. I know thats not a huge deal, but she looks so healthy now, and her behavior has even started getting better as far as temper and anxiety, which is a huge plus. I know my relationship with her has changed a lot in the last 19 days, and its amazing how much closer we have become.

This morning, we had our first real family meal together, where we weren't directing her or arguing with her, she just sat, ate and talked to us like normal families do, and my husband and I couldn't believe how far she has come from the first day here.

Its going to be really weird getting back into the groove of our life and not counting calories or weighing her everyday. But I just cannot wait until tomorrow when we can go pick up Jasmine, drive home and toss every single thing that has to do with g-tubes, like the 35 cases of formula, all the boxes of pump bags, two pumps, 3 IV poles and on and on and on. That is going to be the best feeling in the entire world to know, that she will NEVER need that again.

She has gained so much self confidence through eating and through the positive reinforcement that she gets from all of us when she is trying new things or chewing the right way. She has retained so much information and I am so proud of her for being self motivated to eat, and to hear her say "Mom, I never knew there were so many foods that tasted so good!", just melts my heart. We beam with pride at every meal when we see her take the initiative to eat something we only asked her to take a few bites from, or like tonight just scarfing down ravioli like no ones business, without us even having to ask.

We always knew we had a pretty awesome kid, but I am really touched at how many peoples lives she has touched just by being here and being herself. So many people have come up to me and said that they will never forget her, and are sad to see her go, but happy because that means she did what she needed to do.

I am going to be forever grateful to CHOC and the feeding team for allowing us to participate in something so awesome and for teaching us how to teach her how to eat. I cant wait for our first meal at home and to actually sit as a family and eat. Its going to be an amazing feeling.

Thank you all for your support before and during all of this, it really means a lot to me and it really helped me to know that people were pulling for us and wanted Caitlin to succeed.

Tomorrow we will be having our last meals here, and having one final meeting before we leave, and I have a feeling I just may cry. I didn't when she got the tube out, but I think it was because I was just so happy that I was relieved that we no longer had to deal with it. But I think knowing that I probably wont see them again, and that they gave Caitlin a new life and did so much for her, its going to be hard to say goodbye. I wish I could make something for them or do something to let them know how much we appreciate them.

That is all from CHOC, and I look forward to seeing some of you when we get back :)