CHOC Day 5: Rough Day in the Hood

I was pretty confident the last couple of days that I would be great with the weekend, Caitlin would eat a ton, and we would both be proud of ourselves for it. Quite the opposite in fact. Caitlin is sick, stuffy nose, sore throat and coughing, I'm a little sick, but mostly just tired, and Caitlin hasnt eaten very well today. I assume part of it is that shes sick, I mean who really wants to eat when they are sick, but also I think I over estimated my skills in the feeding therapy department. Its a little frustrating, I am still extremely proud of Caitlin today, she even told me this afternoon, that "I'm proud of my self mom". That made my day, she should be proud of herself and everything that she has accomplished, so far in feeding therapy.

This morning I introduced biscuits and gravy thinking she would love it because its dippable and it involves bread. Wrong I was. She thought it tasted nasty and gagged the entire time. I ended up wiping all of the gravy off and she only ate one side of the biscuit. But she also ate a piece of toast, 2 oz of peaches, and all of her chocolate instant breakfast, that adds a good amount of calories to her diet.

Needless to say by the time AM snack came, she was starving. She did really well at snack, eating all of her ritz bitz peanut butter crackers, all of her pudding, 4 oz of milk and 65% of her sting cheese. I had one of the therapists watching me this AM for snack just to make sure I would be okay over the weekend. I guess I passed lol.

Lunch didnt go to well either, and that was part my fault, I went into it a little discouraged and I think Caitlin felt that. We ordered a cheeseburger, french fries and and strawberries. I probably shouldnt have done any meat without the team present because it is something new. I hope I didnt ruin it for her. She ate 1/8th of her cheeseburger, 1/2 her french fries, and 3 strawberry slices.

PM snack was really good, so I was a lot more hopeful, then again she probably was starving by the time snack came around. She ate all of her banana, all of her strawberry banana yogurt, 2 oz of milk and some peanut butter that she dipper her banana in. That was when she told me she was proud of herself, and I told her she should be and that she has done amazing.

Dinner actually went pretty good as well, she ate almost all of her chicken pasta primavera and about 1/4 of her roasted potatoes. She ate her entire dinner roll with 2 pats of butter, 4 oz of milk, and was so full that she couldnt even be bothered with ice cream. So at least I know she got one good meal in.

I am being very hard on myself, and I recognize that, but I just want what is 100% best for her, and I felt like I failed her a little today. I know she probably doesnt know, nor care but I do. I guess this is why we are doing feeding therapy though, so that we can learn how to get through the tough foods, and I cant expect myself and her to get the knack of it after only 5 days, no matter how well she is doing. I am keeping my head up, and keeping a positive attitude for tomorrow so that she will feel that and keep on trucking.

I'm exhausted, hopefully tomorrow will be better.