Just Say No To Drugs.

I find lately that I am starting to get really tired of having to medicate my child. I feel like she cant just be herself due to the meds she has to take. As of right now, we only have a few more days left of her Amoxicillin that was for her Strep Throat, thank goodness, one less syringe to fill in the morning and evening time.

She is on Celexa for her anxiety, Cyproheptad for appetite stimulant, Zyrtec for allergies and her inhaler.

The problem is I feel like we are screwing with her brain. I am not entirely sure that the Celexa is actually working. It is actually an antidepressant, but used to treat anxiety, but I personally dont think she needs it. Bear with me as I explain, I tend to jump around a bit.

I think that the problem last year (when she started Celexa), was that her Kinder teacher was just way too nurturing and Caitlin took that as weakness and proceeded to turn the teachers world upside down. This year her teacher is a no BS teacher and there is a line that is not to be crossed. She started Celexa in November of last year, and throughout the rest of the year in Kinder she had the same destructive behavior. Now she is in first grade. From the first day she was at school there were no issues. She stayed the entire almost 8 hours without fault and without any of the behavior that she had last year with kinder.

Now I believe the difference is in the teacher. I do not believe that in 2 1/2 short summer months that the Celexa magically kicked in and "made" her be good. Her teacher is very strict, but a little nurturing as well.

I have now talked to 3 doctors who believe that the reason she has any anxiety is due to her sensory issues. Their take on it? Fix the sensory issues, then that fixes the anxiety issues. I am compelled to agree. I havent seen anything in the medication to convince me that is the reason she is calm and enjoying school. So this summer I believe we are going to do a trial with her not on it and see what happens. We dont want to do it during the school year as you have to come off of it over a longer period of time, you cant just stop taking it.

Now to the appetite stimulant. I was totally on board with that until I read about the side affects. I am aware ever drug has side affects. But when I found out the appetite stimulant is actually normally used as a antihistamine and I was to give it to her at night, it made me feel like I was drugging my kid to go to sleep. I know that this will help her, I think I just need to get around what it is normally used for and just keep thinking its going to help he be free from her tube.

I think what it comes down to, is that I just want to see Caitlin be a "normal" kid. I really and truly have so much hope and faith in this feeding program to help Caitlin achieve that, but I am just so frustrated right now with the fact that I feel like I am pumping things into her that maybe I shouldnt be.

Ok rant over. Sometimes I just need to write it down to not feel so lost.