Exciting

Its been a rough couple of days and I find that what keeps me most excited is school. I know, weird. In high school I was horrible, I hated it, and the only reason I didn't drop out was playing basketball.

One of my biggest drive for doing this is to walk across the stage. It sounds stupid, but I didn't get to do that in high school. I was young and dumb and didn't think about the consequences that not going to school was going to have on my future. I ended up not graduating with my class, and finishing up at an adult school (even though my diploma says its from my high school). My other biggest drive is that my mom did it at 40. She didn't want to live her life in a boring job that she wasn't happy with and at 40 went back to school and got her nursing degree. I was so proud of her, when she walked across that stage. That is what drove me to start going back to school in 29 Palms 2 years ago.

But now that I am all old and stuff ;) I realize that I want to learn, I need to learn, and I am excited about the dreadful 5 week classes that are about to happen. I want to be able to show my daughter that if you set your mind to it, you can do anything you want, no matter how young or old you are. I want to sit down and do my homework while shes doing hers, and have her relate to me a little more. I also want her to see how hard work pays off in the end.

This is going to be a rough 3 years, with a deployment in between that time, possibly 2, but I know I can do it. I have always had such low self esteem about school, or anything that had to do with me, but I am really just ready to do this. Nothing is going to stop me from FINALLY getting my degree that I have wanted for so long.

I'll be 29 when I get my bachelors, but that is okay with me. I have such an amazing support system, my family, Stephens family, but mostly Stephen. I am surprised, honestly that he would sign over his GI bill to me to be able to go to school and fulfill my dreams. That really means a lot. I know that failure is not an option, he is giving up a free college education that he has worked 9 years so far for, and I refuse to let him down.

All I have to keep thinking when the road gets tough is,

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty"

-Winston Churchill

Thats going to be my motto.